It's self-explanatory. We give the topic and our individual stance and you just read and follow suit. And to kick it off, what better topic is there than those mythical beasts of wonder and fascination: unicorns.
How do I feel about unicorns? I hate them. It's not about whether or not they exist or have ever existed. I couldn't care less. I just think they're stupid. Let me break it down for you.
- Wow, a horse with a horn. Oooooh, big deal. Not impressed.
- They remind me of Lisa Frank erasers and folders, which reminds me of the girls who owned said Lisa Frank paraphenalia in grade school, which reminds me of mean cliquey girls who thought they were super cool but ended up living in the suburbs with their high school "sweetheart", snotty Gap kids babies and "luxury" SUVs. No thanks.
- I doubt unicorns would be friendly. In fact, I bet they'd be ill-tempered and quick to use their "magical" horn to impale you into a fencepost at the slightest insult.
- In a fight with a lion, a unicorn would always lose. Hands down. I can't respect that.
- After centuries of unadultered adoration, unicorns probably have gigantic, undeserved egos. They most likely think their unicorn droppings smell like rainbows and glitter. News flash: unicorns are a kind of horse. they don't smell nice at all.
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LOLOL!
ReplyDeleteUnicorns would never win in a fight against a dinosaur. What's cooler than dinosaurs?? Nothin.
Yeah, I think unicorns are like Tolkien's elves in the world of mythical beasts. They insist they're the gods' gift to humanity and the world. Give me a hot, sweaty, tufted self-aware black rhino any day.
ReplyDeleteWell.... what if unicorns had the use of magic? Then they might defeat a lion.
ReplyDeleteEVEN SO. I've never understood why a horse with a horn holds so much value, either. Doesn't have one horn just mean you're evolutionarily disabled? I mean, what else has one horn? A freaking narwhal? Those are what, 2 years away from extinction? There's a reason everyone else evolved with 2.
Also, don't you get the feeling that whoever thought up unicorns (and other mythical creatures with only one thing, like a cyclops) just had no imagination? It's like when I try to come up with fictional characters and the best thing I can think of is a guy with an eye patch. NICE.
also, what's with all the fucking prancing?
ReplyDeleteseriously unicorns, if i wanted to see that, i'd subscribe to prancing pay sites. just cause you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD.
Am I going to have to be the one to stand up for the unicorns? Seriously? I feel like they're about as represented as Dick Cheney at a hippie luncheon.
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