think you know what makes nerds hot?

Big announcement today, after a prolonged absence from the SadOrAwesome crew! (Let's just blame that on the swine flu outbreak or the John & Kate Plus 8 scandal, shall we? Good.) But first, allow me to set the stage:

As Maya has said, the three of us are a match made in Internet-heaven. We share a dark, biting sense of humor, zombie survivalist mentalities and a penchant for geekdom. Add to the recipe the oh-too-common 20-something's lack of funds and the fact that Maya and I aren't the most hideous people on the planet. Got it? Good, because I'm about to get to a point here.

These observations sloshed around in my head for a while, and it hit me like Greg had swung a severed light pole at my head (note: this has not happened, but I imagine it would have quite an impact.) Nerdgirls get a bad rap for wearing comfortable shoes and T-shirts with jokes about binary code. You can be nerdy and hot. Nerdy can be hot. We needed to do something about this.

And thus it was decided to create the Nerd Pinup Calendar, featuring two real-life nerdgirls: Maya and me. And here's where we need your help. There's only 12 nerd scenarios we can feature (uh, because it's a calendar, and there's 12 months in the year), and we want to highlight the best of the best of being nerds.

So, submit your ideas here. Love WoW? Tell us why we should show how hot it can be. Have an obsession with robots? Convince us that other people would enjoy it as much. Our goal is to create a calendar of two nerds for all of geekdom to savor, so your input is utterly crucial. (Please keep it SFW, we may be hot but we aren't that kind of cewebrity.)

Now please, stop reading and start geeking out. We're counting on you.

Midwestern misconceptions

Living in Nebraska for more than the past decade has provided me with ample opportunities to be mistaken for a backwoods hick, something that honestly couldn't be farther from the truth. What Mr. New Jersey? Am I from a farm? No. I've never even been on a farm. Hell, the closest I've been to farm life is a petting zoo.

Why is it that residents of either coast, mountain regions and the South assume that Midwestern residents are all rural dwellers who know how to butcher a cow, watch NASCAR and haven't hear of T.I.? Ugh. Count me completely over it.

I see how the mystery of an unknown region of our pretty large country leaves sufficient room to full the absence of information with assumptions and stereotypes. But don't be shocked when those presumptions are inaccurate. Ask me what I do, where I grew up and how I feel about Larry the Cable Guy (verdict: 837 thumbs down).

In fact, this girl from the Heartland of America has never: hunted, gone cow tipping, partied in a field, had a class of less than 450 or owned a pair of Wrangler jeans. I'm better suited to barter with a street vendor, cruise down an expressway, know which flatware to use and carry armfuls of grocery bags several flights up to my walkup...all in four-inch stilettos.

In simplest terms, jiust being from the Midwest doesn't make me a country girl. Sometimes I wish it did; I'm as fascinated by the idea of open spaces, fresh air and hot farm boys as anyone else. But at the end of the day, when I fall asleep to the sounds of sirens and people yelling as they drunkenly stumble home from the bars, I'm still (and always will be) a city girl.

Loves,

Kt

Bob and Peg Ride the Elevator

I'm pretty damn fortunate to work in an awesome office with really rad, laid-back (read: not stuffy) people. We throw things at each other, exchange profanities, blast music and do all of those things that a really creative and productive office does that suits and squares just don't. Here's the catch: we work in an office building with a lot of suits and squares.

Don't get me wrong. There's a place for people who put on a tie every day and see networking as an actual conscious activity. And most of the suits and squares (let's call them the Bobs and Pegs) are really friendly and seem like good human beings. But regardless of their worth as decent, amiable people, there's a few things almost every Bob and Peg do that really, really aggravate the hell out of me.

Take an average ride in the elevator. No matter if it's first thing in the morning, to or from lunch or even leaving at the end of the day, Bob and Peg can only initiate two topics conservations with me: the weather or the streak of hot pink in my hair. While the weather is good ol' standby small talk fodder, there's really only so much to say about it. Take this exchange from a recent 25 degree day:

Peg: "Can't wait for Spring, huh?"
Me: " Yeah, won't be here soon enough."
Peg: "I heard it's going to warm up this weekend. The 50s or something."
Me: "Let's hope so. "

And that's pretty much every weather conversation. Ever. Replace the details if you want, but the menial pointless dialogue remains the same. Now check out the small talk about my hair:

Bob: "Wow, what color would you call that?"
Me: "Oh, uh, pink."
Bob: "Huh. Is that, permanent or..."
Me: "Semi-permanent. Gotta keep things interesting! "
Bob: "Well, it's...striking/bright/working for you, that's for sure."
Me: "Ha, thanks."

Now let's just completely gloss over the fact that's it's pretty ballsy and borderline rude to question a complete stranger's personal appearance (I could have a whole post just for that). What is there to say here? Yes, part of my hair is pink. Yes, I know this. No, you don't know nor care about the difference between permanent and semi-permanent hair color but I can certainly tell you which of the two it is. Glad we had this talk.

While I don't expect to discuss philosophy or debate the dominance of Hellenic references in pre Judeo-Christian Persia during my five story ascent, where's the creativity? Where's the interest? Have the Bobs and Pegs of the world fallen into such a routine that even something as simple as small talk on an elevator has a mere two forms? No deviation, no straying from the traveled social road, no...improvisation.

Ugh. Even thinking about being that static is making me bored. I think that calls for a break to pose the action figures on my desk, take photos and post them to Facebook.

Loves,

Kt

signs a girl likes a boy

So there's this boy I like, and because I also respect him (novel concept, right?), I'm handling the situation in a patient, mature manner. This, my friends, is not how I ever handle boys. So with this new adult approach to pursuing a potential relationship, I've noticed I've been displaying new signs that I am interested.

In the past, my methods of signifying I like a boy often include 1) blurting it out in the most socially awkward scenario, 2) making out with him out of the blue, 3) telling him he is going to like me, and the piece de resistance 4) oversharing and spilling my guts about every ex, bad life decision and any flaws I have. It's actually shocking I could even get a guy this way, I'll admit that.

But in this new situation, the signs are so different. And it's not like I have to try not to make all those fatal awkward mistakes of yore. It's just...different and easy. Wanna know how I know I like him and how it's becoming apparent to my near and dear?

1. I don't talk about him incessantly. In fact, most of my friends don't even know who it is I like. I'm keeping this romantic development close instead of announcing it to the gossip mills.
2. I cleaned my apartment before he came over. Seriously. I dusted, did dishes and (gulp) vacuumed. (Note: I have vacuumed maybe a total of 6 times in the past two years. True story.)
3. I'm not rushing it. I leap before I look, and many times, I don't even look at all. But in the hope of not screwing this up, I am finally taking it slow and not immediately assigning labels.
4. I get butterflies. I know this is the corniest, gayest, girliest, most cliche sign, but it's honestly one I haven't experienced in quite, quite a while. And it feels good. So suck it.

There it is. Dudes out there, take note, as you may be causing this effect on a chick but had no idea. Look for these signs. It means she's totally into you. And girls? If you're experiencing any of these symptoms, run with it. Apparently, this is how adult relationships happen. (Or call your doctor; you may be experiencing a minor stroke.)

Loves,

Kt

Unspoken Twitter Rules (That I Just Made Up)

You know how, before facebook sucked, it had rules? Like the one that said you couldn't join unless you were a student, at a university, with an .edu email address? Yeah, that was awesome. Considering the increased media attention that twitter's been receiving, and the subsequent exponential increase in users, someone really needs to tell the slower people that THEY'RE DOING IT WRONG. These unspoken laws of twitter are (for NOW) just my passive-aggressive opinion, but I think twitter should officially adopt them and remove anyone who doesn't comply. Or at the very least: I just can't follow you if you commit any of the following twaux-pas.



You really shouldn't:

• Use 5-year old internet acronyms (like lol, roflmao, brb, g2g) or 1-year old lolspeak (like I can haz, I'm in ur - -ing ur -, or anything else obnoxiously misspelled). The only exception is if you're doing it ironically. Otherwise you look like you haven't been on the internet in years, and you might as well be my grandmother. Acronyms that I won't judge you for include omg, wtf, ftw, ftl, and fml.
• Spell things wrong. The people I follow write complete sentences, and spell-check if they're not sure. This is not a chat room; it's not about speed. It is, however, about exchanging intelligent information, and I'm not interested if you can't communicate like a person.
• Ask "What does # mean?" "How do I send a reply?" "How do I find people to follow?" Do your research, dude. You shouldn't be allowed on twitter until you understand the basic concepts. There's like 4 things to know. Also, let me google that for you.
• Abuse caps lock and/or punctuation. Again, this isn't 6th grade, and we aren't in a chat room. Sometimes caps lock is funny; a lot of people use it for emphasis since bold/italics aren't supported everywhere. Bad punctuation is only funny if we already know you can use it correctly.
• Follow a million people, wait til they follow you back, and unfollow. I shouldn't even have to say this. You're an asshole for even considering it.
• Steal people's ideas without giving them credit. I know, it's extra work sometimes to reword tweets to make it fit with a RT, or maybe you feel weird mincing their words, but trust me, it's better than just pretending you came up with it. And I promise, there's always a way to make it fit.
• Ask people to RT. This is retarded. If it's interesting, we'll RT it.
• Use twitter as your personal messaging system. If your entire history of tweets is you replying to one friend about where to get dinner tonight, good luck to you. Direct messaging was invented for a reason. Also, EMAIL.
• Bribe people to follow you. I swear to god, if I see "If you follow me I'll follow you back!!!" in one more bio, I'm going to explode. Is that REALLY how you want to describe yourself? That's all you've got?
• Talk about your meals. I'd rather hear about almost anything than what you're eating right now - no matter HOW DELICIOUS that Subway sandwich is today. This just alerts everyone that you literally can't come up with anything else to tweet than the fact that it's 12:00 and you're eating, just like everyone else in your time zone. You know what? If you don't have anything interesting to tweet, don't tweet anything at all. This should be in the constitution.
• Use twitter as a truncated RSS feed for your blog. Look, if I like your blog, I'm subscribed to it in google reader, and I'll see when you have a new post. If I have to hear about it twice, I'm going to get rid of one source of those alerts - and it's probably going to be the one where I have to click a god damn link to see what you're talking about. I'm not saying you can't link to your (infrequent) blog posts, just don't let it be the only thing you use twitter for.
• Tell everyone when you're "logging off" for work or sleep or whatever. Um, this isn't instant messaging. It's expected that you won't be there all the time, and if you don't respond instantly no one's gonna be like "OMG are you mad at me?"
• Oh yeah, and don't say tweeps.

I don't have a million followers, and I'm not pretending I can teach that (You should be a celebrity or a fictional character. There, I did it.), but I CAN suggest a few ways to have a decent amount of not-retarded ones. Or at least, to have me.