Dealmakers & Dealbreakers

Maris over at one of my favorite blogs recently listed her dating dealbreakers and asked for responses, but strangely didn't mention any dealMAKERS, which I think are far more interesting. Maybe dealmakers are all the same, and she did mention some stereotypically ideal qualities in guys, but to me the qualities that make or break the connection with a prospective boyfriend are the little tiny weird things that no one else notices.

Like......... Here's the things I love about the boys I've loved.

• They're geniuses. They tend to be on the crazy side, but I think that's just what goes along with extreme intelligence. So I'm not asking for crazy, per se, but I tend to find myself attracted to it.
• They look cute in anything. As a rule, I don't date good dressers. I can't stand fashion, I feel hottest in jeans and a hoodie (that's the California girl in me, I guess). So it follows that I'm uncomfortable around guys in dress shoes, or in jeans that cost more than my iPhone. I'd rather be with a guy who can pull off a K-Fed outfit (ahem) than with someone who insists on dressing up to go to the movies.
• They're kissable. Dude, if you kiss me the first time and I don't enjoy it, it won't be happening again. Not only are the guys I date fantastic kissers, but looking at them makes me want to kiss them more. That's important, I think. If I can watch someone talk without interrupting them for makeouts, I'm probably not sufficiently into them.
• They have MY sense of humor. Yeah, everyone wants someone funny, but I want someone who enjoys contemplating alternative realities. Someone who laughs more at silly puns and your-mom jokes than at the latest Will Ferrell movie quotes. Also, I really like guys who think I'm more attractive making a dumb face than I am smiling demurely (and vice versa).

That said... here's what I can't stand, and this was much harder for me to come up with for some reason.

• Conservative beliefs. I'm sorry, I gave it a fair chance, and I just will not be dating any more republicans or religious folk. I'm not some crazy liberal jew, but I kind of am a crazy liberal jew.
• A lack of interest in non-traditional conversation topics. That was a lot of negatives, but what I mean is I can't get along with anyone who just wants to talk about sports, or the new Coldplay album (get over it, Chris Martin sure did), or what they did that day. Those are all fine (uh, except sports), but if you're done talking when we've blown through those topics, I'm over it. I like having conversations about time travel, serial killers, strange diseases, baby names, fucked up books, bad movies, historical trivia, zombies, and whatever ridiculous/stupid questions strike my fancy. Aright?
• The insistence that the past is the past. I hate people who won't talk about previous relationships, or their childhood. I understand it's over - I don't need you to keep reminding me what year it is - but all that stuff made you who you are now. Plus I want to know all the ways I'm better than your last girlfriend. The other side of this issue is I can't hang out with people who have no interest in where I came from. You don't want to see how cute I was when I was little? Are you kidding me???
• Animal haters. You don't like my dog jumping on you and smothering you in dog hair? Get out.