Nip/Tuck's Life Lessons

Believe me, it was tough to narrow it down to 10.

1. Plastic surgery can fix anything. Missing an arm? Here you go, and this one shoots lasers. Face burned off? No problem! Penis enlargement? So easy, we'll let this teenager do it. Rosie O'Donnell? Well... they can make her noticeably less obese.
2. Every plastic surgeon will either develop an addiction to nitrous oxide or murder people with it. So uh, don't get plastic surgery.
3. Even though your child is born with a horrendous physical disability (say, crab hands), you can just leave him with the babysitter indefinitely after you're done banging midgets to get through your own emotional turmoil.
4. That HIV-positive lady you hooked up with, unprotected? Don't worry about that, you're going to have bigger problems once you invariably shove her off a roof.
5. Oh, except your crimes don't have any repercussions; you can just self-medicate until everyone else forgets about whoever you murdered/kidnapped/robbed. Be careful though; the same goes for your enemies.
6. On the other hand, anything you do to hurt someone feelings will be brought up EVERY TIME you see them, ever. For the rest of your life. So you should just lie instead.
7. Porn is a very lucrative and classy industry.
8. You never know who might be secretly a man/woman. What you can count on is that everyone is gay.
9. Just accept the fact that you're related to everyone and forget you ever knew the definition of incest. It's okay to keep banging your mom or sister as long as you didn't know who she was the first time. Also, it's not weird that you're the grandfather of your girlfriend's daughter, or that your husband is leaving you for the underage daughter of your ex-mother-in-law's girlfriend. Happens all the time.
10. You never have to feel guilty about being a dick to everyone, as long as you're very handsome. If you're ugly though, you should (and probably will) kill yourself.

What do you think - any other invaluable life lessons I'm missing?