This blog entry is fucking short!

Looks like I'm last. Hi, I'm the jerk, also known as "the male", sometimes just called "the dick". If you stick around long enough, you'll find that I'm unreliable, unappealing, lack any shred of creativity, and most importantly... available. Yes, that's right--I'm single (ladies, take note).

I have flashes of creativity that always seem to hit at the most inopportune times. Like while in the bathroom... Tried taking a notebook with me for a while, worried it looked like I was logging various data about my restroom habits. Unfortunately for everyone, I tend to be least creative when sitting at the computer.

When I get right down to it, I'm really just a normal guy. My hobbies include tempting recovering alcoholics, hiding contraband in Arab looking people's luggage, swearing for effect, and running with the devil. I listen to bands with shitty names. Have been known to occasionally bust out something wicked on the harmonica.

I'm currently hanging out in the south, which, if nothing else, is great material for my future in stand up. Yes, I wear shoes. Yes, I can read.

I'm a music nerd, a zombie buff, and I probably know more about LOST than you ever will. Odds are good I will blog about most of these things (especially giving alcohol to hobos). I quote Deadwood on an almost daily basis and one day I'd like to write for a living (but I'm not holding my breath). I love to answer questions, so if there's anything you are wondering about, I'm the (only) man to ask. Luckily for you, I know everything and answer free fucking gratis.

First order of business: deal with all this pink.